michistuff

there once was a time

2011-10-18T11:32:00.002-04:00

There once was a time when I could practice 6 hours a day, go out for coffee with friends, have rehearsals, and enjoy music life. There now is a time where I work 8-5, run home to get my violin, go to rehearsal at 6 and have no time to practice unless I forgo eating on my lunch break. Yes. This is it. The real world and it's freaking exhausting.

In other news, some jerk stole my debit card number. I'm waiting for Chase to finish their claim process and it's super frustrating. I am now waiting (not very patiently) for a new debit card to arrive in the mail. In the meantime, I'm sending all of my worse thoughts to the person(s) who stole my card number in hopes that something bad (but not tragic) happens to them.

meow.

christmas in September

2011-10-01T23:50:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, Matt was complaining about not getting to watch the Packer games because he couldn't get off of work. He was legitimately angry so I decided to help him.

I looked into direct tv packages, called to set it up, went to Best Buy the next day and...

Tah Dah!

Matt was so surprised (obviously since Christmas is 3 months away) and I love having a tv again. I forgot what it was like to watch a show on something bigger than a 13" Mac Book. Now we can watch 3D movies, too! Super fancy.

My staff says that weird people are drawn to me

2011-08-26T17:54:00.002-04:00

I was just at the dollar store buying hurricane supplies and the guy at the checkout says,

"do you want this empty cardboard box for your cat?"

"...how do you know that I have a cat?"

"because I can see the future"

"oh, ok. So, what's going to happen with the hurricane this weekend?"

"30,000 people are going to die"

"...that's a lot... ...I guess I'll take the box"

CA getaway with MattE

2011-08-22T11:42:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, MattE and I went to California for a wedding. California is perfect. The weather is beautiful with no humidity- great hair, every day.

Santa Barbara,

San Simeon,

Calabasas,

Malibu,

Matt and I decided that we want to move to Santa Barbara some day. The city is really relaxing and we would have a little house somewhere up in the mountains. The only bad thing about the trip was that I got a terrible sunburn. It was the first sunburn I've ever gotten and let me tell you, it was not pleasant. I am now traumatized and will be wearing sunscreen whenever I am out in the sun from now on. If you haven't been to California, you should really go now. Right now!!! (and bring me with you)

no internet = no blogging

2011-08-19T14:01:00.002-04:00

Well, I shouldn't blame it all on the internet. I haven't posted anything in awhile just because I've forgotten about blogging. Of course, now that I do want to post things my internet isn't working at home. To make matters worse, Verizon, the internet company we have, is on strike. The soonest time someone can come out to look at our connection is September 4th. (the internet has been on the fritz since August 4th) rage. Matt, Sean, and I have lots and lots of rage.

Other than the internet situation, I have been thinking a lot lately about my life, where I am, and what I'm doing with myself. It may be due to the fact that in 11 days I will be 27, something that I'm not looking forward to. My friend suggested that I start telling people that I'm 30 for the next few years until I'm actually 30 to start getting used to it, since that is the direction I'm inevitably headed in.

In honor of my turning 30, I've decided to refocus myself and make some tough decisions. If you know me, you know that I'm not one for change, big or small, (I just bought a pair of wide leg jeans that I'm a quite nervous about) but I've decided that change has become necessary. I've started something... I'll call it a "project." I can't share with you yet because it's still not fully formed, but hopefully in about a week I will be ready to unveil.

stay tuned.

spontaneity is one of my better qualities

2011-07-15T00:30:00.003-04:00

I stopped into a tattoo place tonight to get a consultation and walked out with my very first tattoo!

Productivity, go!

2011-07-12T11:59:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I did so many lovely things:

1. Had breakfast with my sister
2. Had a road rage stand off with a Jewish man - I realize that this is not technically a "good" thing but it was very cathartic
3. Convinced my landlord to not increase our rent for next year
4. Called about getting a hostessing job - Fingers crossed that it works out!
5. Went to a yoga class
6. Signed up for a yoga membership

7. Emailed a couple community orchestras about auditioning
8. Practiced for the first time in a good while

Hopefully my good, productive days will continue on. I slept in today which was lovely and am about to do some practicing.

When I eat breakfast, Sangria always stalks the butter.

John Adams gives thanks

2011-06-30T10:19:00.003-04:00

John Adams, American (minimalist) composer, spoke at the recent Juilliard commencement ceremony. His speech is full of inspiring statements, but the best parts lie in his statements of thanks to today's young musicians.

It’s the month of May and people like me who have been asked to speak at college commencements are feverishly thumbing through their copies of Bartlett’s Quotations or searching Wikipedia for some golden little nuggets of wisdom or humorous anecdotes with which to begin their speeches. I see that while we are gathered here Arianna Huffington, only a few miles north of us, is sharing philosophy and savvy career tips with the graduating class at Sarah Lawrence.

When I graduated from college in 1969 the Vietnam War was raging, and a good 20% of my classmates had already burned their draft cards and had adopted the classic John Lennon hairstyle, moustache and granny glasses. At my own commencement ceremony several protesting students tried to take over the podium and had to be removed by class marshals. Times are less violent now, at least within the country, but the world that awaits this year’s graduating classes is no less volatile, no less unpredictable.

I should be doing the ritual thing and blessing you with words of wisdom and encouragement. But the truth is, all I really want to say is thank you. Thank all of you students who, against all odds and against all the pressures to do otherwise, have chosen to have a life in the arts. All the paradigms of success that we routinely encounter in our everyday lives—on television, in movies, in the online world, in the constant din of advertising, even from our friends and families—all these “models” for success and happiness American-style are about what is ultimately a disposable life, about a life centered around material gain and about finding the best possible comfort zone for yourself.

But by choosing a life in the arts you’ve set yourselves apart from all that and from a nation that has become such a hostage to distraction that it can’t absorb a single complex thought without having it reduced to a sound byte. Most people now, and particularly most people your age, live in a fractured virtual environment where staying focused on a single thought for, say, a mere seven seconds presents a grave challenge. (I mention seven seconds because a staff researcher at Google in San Francisco recently told me that 7.3 seconds was the amount of time that an average viewer stays on a YouTube site before jumping to another page.) You have grown up in a world that offers constant, almost irresistible distraction not unlike what the serpent in the Garden of Eden offered to Eve when he whispered to her, “check out them apples.”

The arts, however, are difficult. They are mind-bendingly and refreshingly difficult. You can’t learn the role of Hamlet (no less write it), you can’t play the fugue in the Hammerklavier Sonata (no less compose it) and you can’t hope to move effortlessly through one of Twyla Tharp’s ballets without having submitting yourself to something that’s profoundly difficult, that demands sustained concentration and unyielding devotion. Artists are people who’ve learned how to surrender themselves to a higher purpose, to something better than their miserable little egos. They’ve been willing to put their self-esteem in a Cuisinart and let it be chopped and diced and crushed to a pulp. They are the ones who’ve learned to live with the brutal fact that God didn’t dole out talent in fair and equal portions and that the person sitting next to them may only need to practice only half as hard to win the concerto competition.

And the wonderful, astonishing truth is that the arts are utterly useless. You can’t eat music or poetry or dance. You can’t drive your car on a sonnet it or wear it on your back to shield you from the elements. This “uselessness” is why politicians and other painfully literal-minded people during times of budget crises (which is pretty much all the time now) can’t wait to single the arts out for elimination. For them artistic activity is strictly after-school business. They consider that what we do can’t honestly be compared to the real business of life, that art is entertainment and ultimately non-essential. They don’t realize that what we artists offer is one of the few things that make human life meaningful, that through our skill and our talent and through the way that we share our rich emotional lives we add color and texture and depth and complexity to their lives.

A life in the arts means a life of sacrifice and tens of thousands of hours of devotion and discipline with scant remuneration and sometimes even scant recognition. A life in the arts means loving complexity and ambiguity, of enjoying the fact that there are no single, absolute solutions. And it means that you value communicating about matters of the spirit over the baser forms of human interaction, because you know that life is not just a transaction, not simply a game about winning someone’s confidence purely for purposes of material gain. By coming to Juilliard, by going through the scary audition process and sweating out your first recital or by losing sleep over some offhand cranky comment by your teacher, you showed that you wanted to take a different route. So I am deeply grateful for your decision, and I know, even without asking them, that all of the other honorees here on the stage with me feel the same way.

I often say when a young composer shows me a score that what I’m looking for is to be surprised, because surprise wakes me up to the world, surprise makes me see something or feel something in a way I never before expected. Nowadays, with all the arts so instantly available via technology, we’re finding it ever more difficult to be surprised by something. We can hear or see just about anything online now, but how often are we bowled over, how often have we been forced to stop all other discursive mind wandering and just sit there in astonishment, listening or looking in rapt amazement? What does it take to move us from our customary place? (And by the way, that is what the word “ecstasy” literally means: ek-stasis- to be moved out of one’s place.) And that is what we want when we confront a work of art, whether it’s a completely new creation or an impassioned performance of masterwork from the past.

There are these lines in a Louise Erdrich poem that I’m currently setting that say it right:

I will drive boys
to smash empty bottles on their brows.
I will pull them right out of their skins.

That is the kind of intensity we’re looking for. We need the artistic experience to pull us right out of our skins

In order to achieve that element of surprise you have to set up expectation. The quality of the surprise—what Melville called the “shock of recognition”—depends on how carefully, how knowingly these expectations have been set up. And whether you are a master playwright, or a subtle and probing lieder singer or a speed-of-light jazz improviser, your expertise in setting up expectations depends on two factors that would at first glance seem to be contradictory: one is supreme technical mastery, mastery of a kind that is so secure and so thoroughly internalized that it functions at an almost subliminal level. (Just look my colleagues sitting here with me on the stage—Twyla Tharp, Derek Jacobi and Herbie Hancock—and you can see technique personified.) And the other is having a gift for the outrageous, having the willingness and readiness to make that sudden, spontaneous departure from the norm—the ability to depart from the script and make the unexpected leap out of the box, and to do it precisely when it’s least expected. (Look at my colleagues again!) Such a gift is impossible to teach. It has to come from the core of the artist’s personality. I remember hearing Yo-Yo Ma play the Bach sonatas for cello and keyboard. It was the first time I’d ever heard him live, and I remember thinking to myself, “Well he’s a superstar, so it will be note-perfect, I’ll be dazzled by his technique and he’ll look great, but I won’t expect any revelations.” But just the opposite happened. My reaction to his Bach was “Man, that was weird!” He didn’t play Bach at all like I’d come to think I’d known it. He was not afraid to be coarse and edgy at times, nor was he afraid to go beyond the accepted norms of polite expressiveness we’d been admonished to consider proper. He’d obviously asked questions before he started to consider the piece.

In other words you have to BE that kind of person: restless, searching, ready and willing to take risks. You have to think differently and experience the world differently from those around you.

So if I can leave you with some words of wisdom—I don’t know what Arianna Huffington is saying at this point in her speech, maybe “hold on to your technology stocks”—I would probably urge you to do one thing over all else, and that is never to consider yourself sufficiently educated. Always remember to adopt Zen “beginner’s mind.” If you’re playing or dancing and acting something for the umpteenth time, stop and ask yourself “how can I make it fresh? What have I been missing in this? How can I avoid going on autopilot?” And don’t be afraid to take baby steps. Simon Rattle was already a world-famous conductor nearing the peak of his professional achievement when he went off to study performance practice with Nikolaus Harnoncourt and become a sort of apprentice-groupie to the Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment. During the last year of his life Schubert sought out a counterpoint teacher and took lessons. And of course we all know how throughout his life Stravinsky painstakingly learned completely new and unfamiliar musical techniques, even at an advanced age, and we know how what he absorbed gave new life and energy to each new phase of his creative life.

Be bold, be humble, don’t mind being difficult, and don’t ever feel that what you’re doing in this attention-deficit disorder country of ours is marginal or unimportant. You are in fact the heart and the soul of its very being.

I am proud to be a New Yorker.

2011-06-25T06:50:00.000-04:00

this past month

2011-06-21T19:11:00.007-04:00

While Matt was gone, my mom came to visit me!

So did Jenny and Catherine :)

Matt came home and I went on a hike with Castor & Pollux,

and Sherpa Matt xoxox

got instagram on my phone,

went on an NYC scavenger hunt with Rick,

ate a great meal with one of my favorite summer foods,

and learned how to tie a bowtie! :)

Taiwan Matt

2011-05-24T00:59:00.004-04:00

Matt left for Taiwan today. He'll be gone for 17 days and I'll be counting down every second.

In the meantime, I have decided to fill my time with some apartment revamping.

I took Rick and Andrew to help me pick out a new bed today. Trying out beds is always a good time. My current queen size is great, but a wee bit too big for our room so a nice comfy full size will be delivered tomorrow evening.

Other things on my list include:
- painting the kitchen
- painting the bedroom
- touching up the white trim in the family room

Matt has given me full reign to do whatever I want so we'll see what else I can come up with. His one and only stipulation: nothing alive. Damn that Matt for ruining my best puppy purchasing plan!

things I learned/was reminded of at work today:

2011-05-22T16:40:00.003-04:00

1. a small compliment goes a long way

2. one can be easily misunderstood when feeling defensive

3. everyone does things differently, but we are all working towards the same goal

4. show support for your team

5. don't overanalyze everything... you will go crazy

apt 35 additions

2011-05-18T23:34:00.001-04:00

Lately it's been my mission to make our home more comfortable. I haven't had time to do any of my big projects like painting the other rooms, but I have checked a few things off my list:

I begged Matt and Sean to let me get a new kitchen table and throw away the circular one that jut out into our family room. Matt and I picked this one and it fits perfectly! Sean no longer has a chair blocking his doorway.

This seems like a really small detail, but I bought a new shower curtain. You can see in the picture that our bathroom is very tiny. Tinier than tiny! Matt has to turn sideways if he wants to use the sink. We had a dark plastic shower curtain which I absolutely hated. The white has really brightened up the room, especially in the mornings.

***my next bathroom update is to change the toilet seat. Why is it black???

And... Matt got a waffle maker!!! It came this afternoon and I used it the second I got home from work. Yippee! More kitchen appliances make a happy Michi and well-fed roommates.

running for gifts update

2011-05-15T22:31:00.003-04:00

After reading my last post about running, Matt laughed and told me that there is no way that I will get all of my running done by July 23rd. (such the supportive boyfriend) That just gave me one extra reason to complete my 50 runs- SPITE. I've been running 3 times a week and am extremely proud of myself. I'm actually getting better and am able to run a little farther and faster. Going up the Williamsburg bridge was actually easier today, and I felt pretty good when I was done. Last week I even bought a runner's ipod armband so that I can look like a real runner with cool accessories!

retail is not rocket science.

2011-05-13T14:24:00.003-04:00

According to Wikipedia, customer service is defined as the provision of service to customers before, during, and after a purchase. Micah Solomon, quoted in Inc. Magazine, states that the perceived success of such interactions are dependent on employees “who can adjust themselves to the personality of the guest.” This is the key point. A good c.s. person listens to the needs of the guest, helps them find what they are looking for or gives them to someone who can better assist them, and makes sure they leave satisfied, wanting to come back.

Young people often enter the retail field thinking that the industry is an easy job where they can do the minimal amount expected because it’s just retail. I’m here to say, “NO! Absolutely not!”

At any job, I understand that everyone has off days- they aren’t feeling well, are tired, or are having a bad day. Everyone has times when things go awry and people/customers get angry; however, there are people who just don’t belong in the c.s. industry. Over the course of my life I’ve run into too many rude, uneducated, lazy people to count and after leaving each experience I’ve thought, “Why did this person apply for this job?” Maybe they were really gung-ho at first and then lost that spark and settled into a cold, hardened shell of a person. But even then, why would you stay in a job that you hate and turns you into an extremely salty human being?

I have my monthly prescription filled at Duane Reade in SoHo. I dread picking up my prescription because I absolutely hate the girl who works at the pharmacy. She doesn’t smile, hasn’t been nice to anyone as far as I’ve seen, and will blatantly ignore you if you’re standing in line in front of her. Her lack of “I’ll be with you in a moment” leads me to the conclusion that she has no soul.

I was raised to work hard, earn my keep, and not expect anything. Entitlement is not a becoming quality and I have met a lot of people who think they deserve the crown jewels just for showing up. Customer service is not hard, but one has to actually want to be helpful. I think the main challenge is keeping a good attitude and adapting to the needs of each person you work with.

Lastly, doesn’t everyone like being helped if needed? Having someone available to answer questions? Not ignore you??? “Treat others how you want to be treated” should be part of everyone’s life motto no matter what job you hold. I mean, have some freakin pride in your work!

end of rant.

(not) running for gifts

2011-04-29T00:46:00.002-04:00

I have been extremely delinquent in my running. Thus far I have 8 tally marks on my "Running For Gifts" sheet. The horror!!! It's been 31 days and I've gone a total of 6 times. I'm sure that you're thinking, "If you've only run 6 times, how do you have 8 tallies?" Well. Matt gave me one for doing the dishes and one for doing a P90X video. This averages to 2 times a week which is not terrible, but not accurate since I haven't run in a week and a half.

I have come to two conclusions:

1. I really dislike running with my whole being. When I am done I feel exhausted, extremely sweaty, and my left knee aches for the rest of the day. I did the extremely difficult P90X ab ribber video and realized that the thought of doing that video twice in a row was much more appealing than going outside and running halfway over the Williamsburg bridge and back.

2. I need to set a deadline and make a plan to accomplish my goal. Matt did say that I could use a P90X video in place of a run. I think that I can have my 50 runs by July 23rd. That means I have to run 3 times a week, and I can expedite the process by throwing in some P90X videos every once in awhile. Or, if I really don't want to run I can still make my goal by doing a video.

*Here's the fine print rule I've given myself about the videos: I have to do them in order. There is a whole calendar with P90X because the concept is muscle confusion- i.e. you do different exercises each day to eliminate the plateau effect from a set routine. If I skip a run I have to do the videos in order. The first one is an hour and a half of chest and back exercises. This will make running much more tempting seeing as the run only takes me 25 minutes door to door.

Extra incentive to get this done by July 23rd- I'm leaving for California the last weekend of July. By that time I'll be super fit, swim suit ready, and geared up for my gift from Matt! :)

Lent of Shame 2011 complete

2011-04-25T16:18:00.002-04:00

The lent of shame results are in:

Michi: 14 days of shame

Sean: shame from 3.22 on

Matt: did not want to participate in the calendar tracker

So there you have it. I may not have done my lent goal, but I at least followed through. Hence, I am the winner.

MET

2011-04-20T00:00:00.003-04:00

The Metropolitan opera house is one of the most beautiful buildings I've been to in NYC. There is so much history and giant, commissioned Chagalls to stare at. Matt, Sean, and I went to see Wozzeck last week and it was INTENSE. If you like 12-tone music, murder, and mayhem, then Berg is for you. The orchestra sounded amazing and the lighting was rather enchanting. Someday one of these firework-like light fixtures will be in my home.

approaching

2011-04-12T19:00:00.006-04:00

1 year.

It's almost been one full year since I moved to NYC. Yikes. I know that I've done a few things. A lot of things in fact. But wow. Time flies.

1. got a job right away and got promoted twice

2. moved 3 times

3. moved in with Matt and Sean

4. went to 3 museums (2 in 2 days)

5. saw 3 operas

6. started playing in a community orchestra

7. ate a lot of good food. like, a lot.

8. gave my final master's recital

You'll be happy to know that I finally bought a new charger for my camera (since I lost it just after xmas) and will once again be taking photos every second of every day. Stay tuned.

sean dickinson.

2011-04-09T00:39:00.004-04:00

tired

2011-04-02T00:15:00.003-04:00

I. am. exhausted.

I have been working every day, practicing for at least 1 hour every day, and trying to do a bit of exercise every day. I know that I have had this sort of schedule in the past, but I think I must be getting too old or something. At the end of the day I just want to sit down and eat dinner, after which I usually fall asleep on the couch, wake up disoriented, and then realize that it's 930pm I still need to practice.

Usually I get sick when I feel this tired but keep pushing myself. Hold on body! Two more days of work and then you can sleep in!

making music in NYC

2011-03-29T23:44:00.003-04:00

With the holidays finally over (I realize that the holidays have long been over, but in retail-land, the stress has just subsided), I decided to devote more of my time to music. I got in contact with a few community orchestras and asked if I could audition to be in their ensemble (even though they are almost done with their concert season). One got back to me right away and said that I can play with them for their last concert! Yippee! I'm excited because I haven't gotten to play the full Brahms Requiem before. I went to the first rehearsal tonight and I had a lot of fun. The group was just sight-reading (mind you, an extremely challenging work) so there were some definitely less than shining moments, but I really liked the conductor.

If you'd like to make a trip out to NYC to visit me, come in June and listen to the BCCO play the Brahms Requiem!

and here's some Sangria cuteness!

running is hard

2011-03-27T14:12:00.006-04:00

I decided that I should start exercising again. Now that winter is over I need to be more active and get outside. I went for a run today. The last run I went on was when I was living in Oshkosh on Merritt Avenue... so a long time ago.

I decided that I could do 2 miles but I didn't take the uphill part of the bridge into account. Exhausting, but all in all, a fairly successful outing. Hopefully I can keep this up.

look what I made!

2011-03-25T00:21:00.001-04:00

http://michitales.tumblr.com/

2011 Lent (of shame)

2011-03-15T12:38:00.007-04:00

Sean and I decided that we should participate in Lent this year. I've never given up anything for Lent and didn't even know any details about this yearly event. According to Wikipedia, "Lent, in the Christian tradition, is the period of the liturgical year from Ash Wednesday to Easter." Apparently, there are free-pass days: "The six Sundays in this period are not counted because each one represents a 'mini-Easter,' a celebration of Jesus' victory over sin and death." Because we'e only human, we added an Apt 35 rule: We can use the non-participatory Sundays on different days if needed. (i.e. I was out of town this past Friday and Saturday and couldn't do my goal so I've used two of my Sundays)

Because Sean and I decided to participate, we thought it only fitting to (nicely) drag Matt along with us. Roommate bonding time! We decided that we should post our results everyday on our fridge to hold each other accountable and shame ourselves into following through.

Michi: Practice every day for at least 1 hour

Sean: Lose at least 12 pounds (go to the gym every day)

Matt: No eating after midnight

NYC adventure time begin!

2011-02-22T00:26:00.007-05:00

I've finally decided that I'm actually going to go out and do things in the city! Tiredness has been a big deterrent for me in the past, but no more!

Last week I made a spontaneous decision to go to an "Eight Blackbird" concert at the Armory with some friends. The armory was a military facility and social hall built during the civil war. The 55,000 square foot drill hall is used for all sorts of things like concerts and trade shows. The group sounded phenomenal and I'm so glad that I got to hear some good contemporary music.

Rick and I are making plans to go do things like scavenger hunts in the city:

http://watsonadventures.com/schedule.html

and run the amazing race!

http://manhattan.about.com/od/eventsandattractions/ss/amazingnewyorkrace.htm

I can't wait!

playoff party

2011-02-01T00:20:00.002-05:00

snow and coconuts

2011-01-31T23:39:00.004-05:00

We had a massive snow storm in NY the other day. It was bad. At times I felt like I was back in Wisconsin with hail-snow hitting me in the face. The snow here isn't usually the bad part, it's the aftermath. From everyone walking and the temperature not actually being that cold, the snow starts to melt and turn into a brown, slushy mess. Disgusting. Rain boots are necessary. Although, the fresh white of the snow always does look lovely. This is the tree outside of my apartment building.

The other day was Rick's 25th bday and we went out for an amazing dinner at Rye in Williamsburg. The best part was that I finally got to experience Rick and Andrew's famous coconut cake. So! Good! I didn't realize how a coconut "works." Very strange. I'm intrigued and am now contemplating getting a drill to make some macaroons.

exploding radiator situation

2011-01-14T23:07:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, I was getting ready to leave for work, Matt had just sat down to practice, and we heard this horrific, extremely loud hissing sound outside our door. We opened our door to a room full of steam and Sean yelling that his radiator knob flew off. It was quite the spectacular scene. Radiators contain a lot of steam. I knew this but I didn't realize the extent. If you're curious, radiators contain enough steam to fill an entire household, cause you and your roommates to crawl on the floor to see, drench everything to the point of melting, and create rain inside our family room. Oh yes, it's quite the pleasant experience.

I tried to upload a video of the whole experience, but sadly, blogger does not want me to.

Instead, enjoy this photo of Sangria, being adorable.

adventures in Thai cooking

2011-01-04T23:58:00.008-05:00

Me: "What do you want for dinner tonight?"

Matt: "How about Pad Thai?"
Me: "...ok"

I decided that I wanted to make "authentic" pad thai, or at least as authentic as I could make it. I got a recipe online which seemed easy enough: Eggs, peanut oil, garlic, fish sauce, tamarind paste, rice noodles, sugar, salt, tofu, bean sprouts, chives, peanuts, and lime. Totally doable. However, on a Sunday evening, finding all of the ingredients is rather challenging. The ingredients to make pad thai seemed fine, but throughout the process of making it I became extremely confused. It didn't seem like I was making the correct dish- tons of runny egg and dark red colored sugary liquid.

Matt: "It smells... interesting... in here..."
Me: "yeah, I don't know if we're going to be able to eat it"

The sauce calls for this fruit called Tamarind. The recipe I used called for 2 Tbs of tamarind paste- a very small amount. Apparently, this is not an item stocked at one's local grocery store. I did however luck out and found a store that carried fresh tamarind which, according to the internet, is fairly hard to procure. This is what tamarind looks like:

Very very odd. Inside it looks like a bunch of dates connected by roots that shoot out from one end and grow down the sides. They are soooooo good though. Of course I only needed 1 for my recipe so now I have an entire box full to try in other recipes and snack on.

After everything was all mixed together it finally started to look and smell like it was supposed to. And, voila!

Pad thai. It was really yummy and even better the next day for leftovers.

Happy 2011!!!

2011-01-02T16:16:00.007-05:00

2011 is finally here. I love new year time because I really do see it as a new, fresh start. Plus, I think that people are in an all around better mood because they are also making resolutions to better themselves in some way, shape, or form.

I went out with my favorite boys, Rick and Andrew, to a German beer garden called Loreley. Such good food! I forget how much I love sauerkraut! We had some champagne at midnight and then went to DBGB to meet up with Matt. The restaurant was decorated so prettily with balloons and new years decorations everywhere!

I've resolved to be overall healthier/take better care of myself this year. Living in NY is hard because it's hard to go grocery shopping, let alone find enough time to prepare meals, and there are so many places to buy food it's easy to be lazy and just buy something. I'm making some changes such as ordering groceries online and planning meals out in advance to help with my new goal. Also, I got some super amazing new kitchen items such as a kitchenaid stand mixer, a new garlic zoom, a cast iron skillet, and a bread maker for Xmas so I'm really excited to use them!

rainy day project!

2010-12-02T10:02:00.003-05:00

Me: "I think I want to paint the family room"
Matt: "OK. do whatever you want"
Me: "OK!"

I went to Home Depot and got everything I needed. I took a friend's advice and purchased some frog tape and an angled Wooster paintbrush. I chose what I thought would turn out to be a nice warm shade of grey and got to work. After finishing the room I realized that it looked atrocious and went back to Home Depot to get a different color paint. On the upside, painting the room 3 times (1 hideously dark gray and 2 coats of lovely gray/blue) has made me much more confident in my interior painting abilities.

scratching is not allowed.

2010-11-22T23:18:00.005-05:00

Done Done andddd Done!

2010-11-13T11:14:00.006-05:00

I was back in London Ontario for the end of October and entire 1st week in November preparing for my final recital. It was so odd being back as a music student. Daily rehearsals, lessons, practicing hours a day, going for coffee runs with friends... What a great life. Becoming a real person with a real job is difficult. I felt strangely all week and then fairly relaxed in my new routine and then I had to leave for home.

My recital went really well. I'm just so relieved that it's done. A few stressful things occurred while I was there like an impending faculty strike/campus shutdown. But, everything turned out well. I felt fairly at home on stage which is actually odd for me. I played my Bach with minor bumps and bruises and my contemporary piece was actually the best I think I've ever played it. The Brahms was a challenge for me all week because I am no longer used to playing out in my tiny apartment. I am also not used to playing with anyone else so my first rehearsal with Tim, my pianist, was exceptionally ear opening for me.

All in all, I'm really glad that I finished this all up and pushed myself through all of the pain. It helps that I had some amazing supporters. I miss all of my Canadian friends! It was great to have a much needed reunion.

Now back in New York, I still feel a bit unsettled. I decided to give myself a week off to rest and recoup. Next week, back to the grind. I have some upcoming auditions that I'm going to start prepping for.

Also, awhile back Matt and I attended Paul and Abby's wedding. My friend Cassie did all the photography. Look at this lovely picture that she took at the reception!

Go look at her truly inspirational blog:
http://cassiemarieedwards.blogspot.com/

I love:

2010-10-14T23:20:00.002-04:00

Matt. He is my best friend. We live together and I still get butterflies when I see him.

one reason technology is bad.

2010-10-11T21:14:00.005-04:00

The other day I dropped Matt off at the airport and didn't bring my phone with me. Do I know how to find a gas station and then get home? ...no.

I did alright getting gas because I found it on Matt's phone before he left. I thought I knew how to get home but failed miserably. Instead of staying in Brooklyn I accidentally drove over the RFK bridge into Manhattan. This bridge has a toll. Do I have any money with me? ...no.

I approached the toll booth and told the worker, "I have no money. And I'm lost." Luckily, my car still has WI license plates which just helps my case. He directed me to the Williamsburg bridge and from there I (semi-)successfully navigated my way home.

I am a complete idiot without my phone. I have no idea where anything is or how to get there without Google maps. I don't even have a mental map to refer to. Even when someone tells me to go a certain direction and I am sure of myself, I still double check my phone, partly to be extra sure and partly because in NYC I just don't have time to walk an extra block.

New thought: Learn the area that I live around.

happy october!

2010-10-05T23:04:00.002-04:00

i heart brooklynyc

2010-10-03T23:54:00.004-04:00

Although I moved awhile ago, we finally have internet set up! I can't imagine being without internet for a prolonged period of time. 3 weeks was torture. Our apartment is quite lovely, small but cozy and comfortable. Pictures will come soon.

Brooklyn is the best because most buildings have accessible rooftops. It's nice to have a place to go at night, look at the city lights, and think. On September 11th, there were lights shooting up into the sky where the twin towers used to be. The view was incredible and quite thought provoking. I can't imagine what being in NYC in 2001 must have been like. Absolutely devastating.

On a happier note, I love living here. I've decided. It's official. I love my job. I love the people that I know. I love the ability to do anything and go anywhere at any moment. I love it all.

The last few weeks

2010-08-20T00:54:00.005-04:00

Have flown by. I have no idea where August went but I'd like time to slow down a bit.

Since my last post, Sangria and I moved into Matt's apartment, but we just signed a lease for a new apt on September 1!!! We're moving to Brooklyn, just one block from the JMZ Marcy stop. Woohoo! I am so ready to leave Washington Heights. You have no idea how ready I am. I am also really excited for my favorite moving things to do... purging my life of things I don't want or need.

Alex, Matt's brother was in town last week before he flew to Taiwan. He'll be there for a whole year so it was good to see him for a few days. We did a lot of fun things like check out the Cloisters,

the King Tut exhibit,

and ate at a super tasty mexican restaurant, Mexicana Rosa, on the upper west side.

I also am really enjoying my new store and am feeling at home there. I like working slightly off of Broadway because it is away from all of the tourists. It is also surrounded by amazing shops and cafes. Very. Dangerous.

I miss nature.

2010-07-30T23:36:00.003-04:00

As much as I like New York, one of my new favorite things is trying to leave it. The other day, I went hiking and cliff diving with some friends at a State Park in New Jersey. So. Much. Fun. I've never jumped off of a cliff so it was an experience. MattE held my hand through the whole thing.

I also realized today that New Yorkers are not all that different from herd animals being corralled from one pen to another. I am starting to tire of all the walking. I used to love walking everywhere but the reality of it has set in and now when I get to my destination, I sit down and slump over in exhaustion.

I am ready to go to WI. 5 days.

promotion!

2010-07-16T21:01:00.002-04:00

So.

Earlier this week I had an interview to move on from POS supervisor to manager in training. The interview went really well and I was told that I got the job but I'd have to wait to see what store I'd be transferring to. Today, my boss told me that I'm actually going to be skipping MIT and going straight to assistant manager. Yay!!! That means way more money than I'm getting now and fun things like paid time off, personal days, etc. I start that title officially this coming week and begin doing training for it at my store. I don't know exactly which store I'm going to be moved to but I'm really sad about leaving the people I work with. I really look forward to going to work because I love seeing everyone every day. Rick ensures me that I'll still see and talk with people so I'll just have to make sure it happens on my days off.

So.

Yay!

as of late.

2010-07-14T22:23:00.000-04:00

Matt, Sean, and I decided to hold off on the apartment hunt for the time being. Since their lease ends after mine, I'm going to move into their apartment for the month of August. It's going to be a challenge because there isn't very much space, but I'm really excited! 16 days!

I've been doing some of other fun things lately. My coworker, Rick, invited me to hang out with him and his bf for the 4th at one of the Piers. Since the road next to the water was blocked off, someone had to show a badge to let us through the police barricades. Very VIP. It was incredible because we got to watch the fireworks on the water in front of the Macy's barges. Aren't Rick and Andrew so adorable? Yes. They are.
Some bad news is that I am probably going to have to get rid of Rory. She is getting older and just had to get some parts replaced this week. I don't really need her in NYC often and coordinating her parking schedule is kind of a hassle. I've had her for such a long time that I feel really sad like I'm selling a part of my family.

(Why do I become so attached to inanimate objects? Maybe I'll stop anthropomorphizing everything so I won't become so attached.)

ALSO! I have some extremely exciting news to share later this weekend!!!

NYC transition #2

2010-07-03T12:10:00.000-04:00

I have to decide in the near future whether I'm going to move out of my apartment at the end of the month or stay here for another two months. My big news... Matt asked me to move in with him and Sean! :) I'm so excited.

Although there are a lot of things that still need to be worked out, I started looking at apartments this week to see what's out there. I looked at one apartment that is absolutely gorgeous and I want to move in right now.

Isn't it lovely? Everything in it is brand new and the apt is right along riverside drive. The only problem is that it's smack dab in the middle of two subway stops which isn't all that convenient.

Hope all is well with everyone! xoxox

I am a New Yorker.

2010-06-19T12:55:00.000-04:00

I realized it this last week when Matt and I were walking down Broadway on my day off to go shopping. Matt kept trying to slow me down because I was practically plowing people over trying to get to our destination. We weren't in a hurry but I couldn't help walking as fast as possible. The next day I made a conscious effort to walk at a more moderate pace and I just felt annoyed. So. That's it. I'm a New York City resident.

nyc exploration #1

2010-06-09T23:12:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Matt and I went to this really good Egyptian restaurant in Queens with some good friends, Matt and Julie. The owner was delightful and entertained us with some witty banter, great food, and lovely service. Afterward, Matt took me to Roosevelt Island to see the city from a different perspective.

Roosevelt Island is a really weird little place that lies in between Queens and Manhattan. It's only about a city block wide but is jam packed with tall buildings. It's almost as if the island used to be part of Manhattan and then just broke off and floated away a bit. The noise of Manhattan is still pretty incredible to me. On the side of the island that faces Queens, all you hear is the gentle sounds of the East River. On the side that faces Manhattan, the only thing you can hear is the white noise hum of traffic and lights.

In other news, I got a promotion at work! I am the new POS supervisor at Club Monaco in Soho and am really liking it so far. The work is a lot of clerical type stuff, which I really enjoy, and I get some more responsibility which is always nice. Of all the things to be excited about, I'm most thrilled about having benefits. Yay! After last summer with my unplanned gland surgeries, I have learned that having health benefits is a top priority.

Hope all is well with everyone!

1 month point.

2010-06-02T23:41:00.000-04:00

I've been living in NYC for just over a month now and I am finally starting to feel settled in. I'm getting used to all the walking so I'm not exhausted all the time, and I can manage finding my way around pretty well now (with the help of my phone of course). I really like my job, and the people I work with, and things at work seem to be going in my favor. More on that subject next week.

As far as upcoming summer plans, a trip to London, ON may be in the works in July. BUT! One for sure, super exciting plan is...

Paul and Abby's wedding!

They are the best, and I am so excited to see them!

♥

2010-05-18T22:47:00.001-04:00

Isn't this cute?

entering the work force.

2010-05-06T00:28:00.001-04:00

I start work at Club Monaco in Soho tomorrow. I have a really strange feeling about it so we'll see if I stay there. Anthropologie offered me a job but I had a few questions that I'm still waiting to hear back about. If I hate Club Monaco, at least I'll have earned my first 4 hours of work in the city.
Wish me luck!

London to NYC

2010-05-02T17:44:00.000-04:00

On Thursday I packed up and said good bye to my house.

Chris and Jenny were on their way to Rochester that day, so we decided to caravan. Matt drove the truck.

There was a pretty horrific accident on the 401 so we sat in almost still traffic for about 45 minutes.

Chri decided to walk back and say hello.

A police officer decided to pull Matt over to give us one final happy memory of Canada.

We unpacked the truck.

Sangria settled in fairly quickly.

and I've spent the last couple of days cleaning and unpacking.

It hasn't hit me yet that I live in New York. I know it'll take some time to adjust, but I have to say that I'm really happy to be here.

I haven't prepared myself

2010-04-25T23:34:00.000-04:00

for the immense sadness that is slowly taking over. I'm really going to miss London. Well, not London itself, but all of the people associated with it. I've made some amazing friends and am so grateful and honored to have them in my life. Without them I probably would've sunk during some really difficult moments in the past two years.

I'm also really sad that I'm done with school. I've been extremely excited to move on to the real world and get a job that I love, and now that all of this is happening... I'm sad. Matt has been telling me to take advantage of every opportunity I can while I'm in school because I may never have this musical bubble again. And he's right, as always. I think I've done a fair amount of things in the past two years, but I'm looking back and hoping that I didn't miss something that I may never get to experience in the future.

One non-sad bit of my life: I bought some Toms and I love them. I highly recommend you go get a pair. Yes, you.

the final countdown.

2010-04-21T02:32:00.000-04:00

As I head towards the end of my masters degree, I'm feeling a cyclone of emotions. There are so many transitional things going on all at once, I have been struggling to juggle all of them. Unfortunately, when stress bombards me from all directions, my mind and body start to shut down. I, luckily, have this wonderful boyfriend to help keep me in check. His "gentle" reminders that my recital is in a week have been prodding my back into reality.

What I'd like to focus on is moving to New York City in 8 days, aka 2 short days after my recital. I still have to pack (and get boxes to be able to pack), decide what I'm taking, tossing, and giving to Good Will, and finalize subleasing things.

The fact that I have a brand new apartment just waiting for me to move into is more than a bit distracting. I'm so excited because it's only 2 blocks away from Matt! I have been having these day dreams about the reality of it all. No more annoying dropped Skype calls. No more 10 hour drives that turn into 14 because I lock my keys in my car at a random gas station in upstate New York. No more driving back and forth to Buffalo to drop off/pick up Matt from the airport. If I want, I can call Matt and then walk 10 minutes to see him IN PERSON. Amazing.

As far as money goes, I decided that I'd like to know where I'm working before I move to NY. This is proving to be difficult. I have 2 potential jobs lined up. After a very strange job interview situation at Anthropologie, I just received an email that I've moved onto the next round of interviews. For me, this will be round 3. I don't know how many rounds there are, but really, I'd like to be done after this one. I also applied at Club Monaco and was interviewed on the spot. The manager seems great, but I have to wait until I hear from them. When I get into town, there is one more place that I am going to apply at, and then I will wait. My goal- start working the first week I'm in NY. No time like the present...

And at the present time, I should be focusing on my recital. Tuesday, April 27th, 2pm, Von Kuster Hall. Please come if you're available. If not, that's ok, too.

VIOLIN!

2010-03-05T00:58:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, but my final recital is in a very short 36 days. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been working like a crazy person to get prepared and I'm getting really excited/nervous.

My program is:
Bach A minor Sonata

(mvt 1)

Dvorak Violin Concerto

(mvt 1)

And a contemporary piece by Saariaho

And then... New York. Yay! :) I'm also really excited to start new repertoire and start preparing for some auditions. Real world. I'm looking forward to seeing you.

thoughts on NYC.

2010-02-19T16:23:00.001-05:00

Pros:
-Matt & Jenna proximity
-Transportation ease
-Lots of lovely places to shop (also a con because this is dangerous for me)
-I am looking forward to moving to a new place

Cons:
-Expensive
-Practicing is going to be an issue
-Smells like garbage and urine

To Do:
-Find a roommate
-Find a job
-Find a place to live
-Find someone to sublet my Canadian apt for the last few months of my lease

baking with Sean :)

2010-02-19T16:18:00.000-05:00

dreaming...

2010-02-12T12:17:00.000-05:00

of going to New York tomorrow and spending my time there baking, cooking, going to concerts, and practicing. And of course hanging out with my loved ones.

...mini Boston creme pies. Sound good?

Audition thoughts.

2010-02-10T00:11:00.000-05:00

I had my Banff audition yesterday. For a normal audition, you go in, play, and the person listening says "thanks" and you leave.

This is not how my audition went. I went in and did a small amount of normal chit chat, "Where are you from? What are you going to play?" I started with my Bach and it was awful. Lots of memory slips. At this point, the listener would usually say "thanks for coming in." Instead, he said, "Are you nervous? Do you feel comfortable? What would make you more comfortable?"

"...um. I am nervous, and I could play my Dvorak for you."

I play the Dvorak and he says, "You're very interesting to me because the hard stuff sounds great and wonderful and the easy things aren't that great. Why is that?"

"...um..."

"Tell me about yourself."

I proceeded to talk to him for about 10 minutes even though I had already been in the room for 10. (The audition was only supposed to be 10 minutes)

He seemed very nice, but I left feeling perplexed and I still kind of feel that way. I guess that it's better that he took interest in me and wanted to know about my playing and background, but still. Very abnormal.

When I left and people asked me how it went I just said, "I don't really know."

I will find out in late March/early April.

was I wrong? ...I don't think so.

2010-02-04T02:11:00.000-05:00

Why do some people feel the need to be right all the time and others don't? Does it give the righter satisfaction to know that the wrongers are wrong, in turn, making themselves feel better? When right, does the righter rub it in the wronger's face, and if so, does that really help matters?

I don't think that anyone likes being wrong, but I do know that a lot of people don't feel the urgent need to state their case about why they are right and just bite their tongue, perhaps choosing to pass on that particular battle.

Others are always vocal about any wronging that may be occurring, justified or not.

What is this? And, why? And how does one stop this madness?

According to Debbie Mandel,

- Develop a good self-concept. Focus inward on your specific and special contribution. Cultivate a personal identity; then you won’t need to assert it.
- Try not to interrupt while other people speak; pay attention to your body language. For example, don’t roll your eyes.
- When you disagree with an opinion, summarize the other person’s point of view first. Make sure you understand his perspective before you present your own.
- Don’t be afraid to make a mistake and be wrong. Learn from being wrong.
- The truth is fluid. What is right today may be wrong tomorrow. Just look at the history of medicine!
- Observe your feelings with family, friends and colleagues. How does being right make you feel and how does letting other people be right too make you feel?
- Keep your emotional communication limited to two minutes; otherwise you risk preaching and venting.
- Align your actions with your words so that people can evaluate your points and trust you. Walk the walk.

long distance sucks

2010-02-01T01:37:00.001-05:00

Matt and I work much better when we're together in person. After a few weeks of being apart, we decided that it was necessary to see each other. So, in a very spontaneous decision, Matt jumped on a plane and came to visit me.

Right now I'm performing in Don Giovanni and last week had an exorbitant rehearsal schedule. Matt flew into Buffalo and I picked him up there at 1230am. We got back into London around 345am. Yuck. We spent 2 gloriously peaceful days being together and then I drove him back to the Buffalo airport at 2am after about an hour of sleep. I got back into London at 830am. Note to self: Driving to Buffalo during these hours really sucks. Try to avoid this in the future.

I'm counting down the days until I get to see him again, as always. 12 more days and I'll be in NYC for "spring break."

perfect toast.

2010-01-31T01:54:00.001-05:00

meow.

2010-01-31T01:15:00.001-05:00

I Love Jcrew.

2010-01-27T15:41:00.000-05:00

I want this. I understand that this is a wedding dress, and I'm not getting married any time soon. But, I still want it. Is a white, pretty wedding dress too strange for a recital?

To eat or not to eat.

2010-01-24T11:44:00.000-05:00

This is so funny and reminded me of some of my dear friends, Sarah, Steven, and Jordan, who are always eating things after dropping them. I personally think that it's fine to eat things after they've touched the floor... depending on what was dropped and where. I can recall a story of a mom with her young child at the mall. The child dropped his just purchased cheese pizza on the food court floor (of course cheese side down) and the mom picks it up and says, "5 minute rule!" 5 MINUTES!?! Yikes. No way. Especially not off of a mall food court floor. Just. Ew.

Do you have food dropping-eating rules you live by?

(photo via minordetails)

Oistrakh!

2010-01-20T17:59:00.000-05:00

I love this man.

Happy Birthday Matt!

2010-01-18T00:29:00.000-05:00

I love birthdays! I know that some people dislike the attention, but birthdays are such a good time to celebrate someone! Unfortunately, I couldn't be with Matt today, but he had some good company and I got him a pretty cake and pie from Magnolia Bakery. I even got to be there (on Skype) for the cake cutting! :)

Knit, Purl, Knit, Purl, Knit, Purl...

2010-01-12T03:00:00.000-05:00

One reason that I love art (painting, drawing, etc) is the physical, tangible nature of it. One reason that I love music is because it has a certain unpalpable, unexplainable quality that cannot be replaced with anything else. One of my friend's blogs is really inspiring to me because you can see how much work she puts into her projects and she sometimes shows the progression of her work. That being said, I wish that I had a hobby that I could share with you all. Unfortunately, with music, no one really wants to hear a half worked on Violin Concerto so I will not be sharing anything I'm working on until it's basically completed.

Because of this, and also because I think that hobbies are important, I thought I'd give knitting a second chance. You may have remembered the first square that I made. The last day or two I've been doing a couple more to work up to my first attempt at a scarf. It's super cold here so hopefully I can get the scarf done in a few days. Wish me luck!

Fear less...

2010-01-07T23:03:00.000-05:00

“...hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours.”

I am trying to remember to keep positive as 2010 is trying to kick me and keep me down. I've been really sick and kind of depressed and have been feeling confused as I make the transition into becoming a non-school attendee.

BUT.

All that ends now. The 2010 Gods are testing me and I am rising to the challenge. I refuse to be an unhappy Debbie Downer so I'm not going to be sad anymore. That's just lame.

I leave all of you lovely people with a picture that always makes me smile... Chri Unger caught in a moment of pure joy. :)

I love presents! :)

2010-01-04T03:01:00.001-05:00

To kick off the year, I arrived home to Canada to find two lovely packages on my kitchen table. One was a bottle of wine from my landlords. How fantastic is that!? They have the right idea. Happy tenants = Happy landlords who get rent on time.

The other was a package from Asha Beyer! Remember how I mentioned that I was one of the lucky winners in her giveaway? WOOOOO!!! My room already feels happier without that empty wall.

bring it on 2010!

2010-01-02T23:17:00.000-05:00

2009. There are so many adjectives to describe this last year that go from complete sadness to full elation.

2010. This year, I am making the transition from student to a person living in the "real world." I've been a university student for the past eight years and I'm ready to do something different with my life. I am so pumped. Maybe a bit too pumped because I still have lots to do before my student life is over. I already have some future plans in the works, but I'll share those details as they become more real. ...I can dream until then.

I've also made some new years resolutions. I love new years resolutions even though many people hate them or think they're silly. I think they give people something to aspire to even if those goals aren't realized or don't last very long. If anything, they help people think about what they want for themselves and that thought process, realization, and desire to become better in whatever way is always worth something.

One of my resolutions (yes, one of many) is to stop thinking hypothetically. I never used to think hypothetically and I in fact hated hypothetical situations because I thought, "Why waste time and think about something with no possible answer?" For whatever reason, these awful thoughts started creeping into my mind (gremlins) and stirred up lots of trouble for me and sometimes others.

Anyone want to share their resolution?

Wrapping up 2009:

WI!

2009-12-15T22:43:00.001-05:00

I am officially back home for the next few weeks. Yippee! I'm getting pretty excited for Christmas. Although this is my vacation I still have lots of things to do while I'm home. I have big plans for the house, my Schenker analysis, and violin stuff. Oh yes, and some things involving the viola parts for Don G.

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my dad's death. It's really weird. Tomorrow my mom and I are going out to the cemetery to put a wreath on his grave. I'm not quite sure how I feel about everything, but I do know that I'm glad to be home.

Sangria; however, is not all that happy. It rained most of the drive back and she really disliked my windshield wipers. She wanted to get away from the wipers but also wanted to sit on my lap so she hid in my elbow for several hours. Pretty cute.

She has been in my room all day and doesn't like to come out for very long. BUT. She does have a new favorite place to sit and looks quite festive with her Santa water cup. :)

Safe travels to everyone!

also.

2009-12-13T09:49:00.000-05:00

I got to see this guy again. He's great...I can't express that enough.

has anyone seen michi lately? anyone...?

2009-12-13T02:48:00.000-05:00

For a variety of reasons, I've been feeling a bit lost lately. At most times over the past few weeks I don't feel like myself. I think that I've figured out why I feel this way, but now I have to start the torturous process of "rebuilding." I've had to do this on occasion before and I recall it not being the easiest of tasks. If I remember correctly, lots of soul-searching, thinking, and practicing usually does the trick.

Through these unhappy Michi moments, I feel lucky to have a good support system.

Since my last post, I have done many things such as:

- deliver a pomegranate to my sister for St. Nick day (aka the day that Jenna and I were adopted day),

- trespass... I mean, take fun pictures in someone's fun lawn,

- watch Chri conduct a cool Honegger piece at the Wind Ensemble Concert,

- and (thanks to my friend, David) have a very thought-provoking violin lesson with Soovin Kim, a fantastic violinist and professor at Stony Brook.

AND! I won some photo prints from Asha Beyer, an amazing photographer, in her recent blog contest!!! I'm so excited to hang them up. There is a wall in my bedroom that is screaming for some beauty and attention. ...Now that I write about all of these good things, I am starting to think that I really don't have things to complain about.

Hope you all are well!

sangria's favorite places to sit.

2009-11-22T03:27:00.001-05:00

every day should be thanksgiving

2009-11-11T10:58:00.000-05:00

today i woke up feeling grateful for many things:

1. my health. the last few days i've been having a hard time physically and mentally because my nerves are starting to freak out more than a little bit. last night i was a sad, crying mess because of my arms. matt helped me calm down. as i fell asleep, i remembered that there are many people who, health-wise, are much worse off than i am.

2. my boyfriend.
he helps me in so many ways and makes every aspect of my life better.

3. my mom. she's the greatest lady. if you met her, you'd know what i'm talking about. she is a very strong person and has shown this time and time again. i love her lots and am eternally grateful for everything she does for me.

4. my sister. what can i say... twins! we love each other and i can count on her for anything that i need. she's taken a lot of risks in the last few years and i'm very proud of her. :)

5. my friends.

they're just great people. i couldn't ask for better people to be surrounded by every day.

6. my cat. doesn't she look happy to be outside in the snow!? ;)

...what are you thankful for?

commence countdowns.

2009-10-23T19:33:00.000-04:00

so, it's been awhile since my last post... i really don't know why either...

since then, i went to new york city to visit matt. he just moved there and is getting used to hectic city life. it's definitely a different environment and atmosphere than i'm used to, but i was quite happy to see him. we did lots of fun things like go to the met to see barber of seville,

and went to brooklyn to visit jenna and see her place. :)

violin stuff has been going pretty well lately. i have definitely had moments of breakdown crying in the past couple of weeks where i think (and complain to matt), "what am i doing with my life!?" however, despite all of that, i've settled into a good place. i feel very motivated and want to get things done... and done well.

right now there are two countdowns going on:

1. matt visits in 14 days! i'm so excited. you have no idea.

2. grad audition pre-screened recordings due in 39 days.

when i'm stressed, i abandon my work and make food.

2009-10-05T01:55:00.000-04:00

all things considered,

2009-09-26T01:04:00.001-04:00

things are going quite well this year. my schedule is great. i only have a few commitments each week so i've had plenty of time to practice. i've also been hiding out up on the 3rd floor where it's quieter and i'm much less distracted.

i feel like i'm in a really good practicing groove where i'm getting lots of things done and stretching my brain to do more problem-solving than i have been doing in the past. also, i've been doing much more focused playing than i used to.

i'm extra motivated right now because i have decided on some firm goals which will be coming up soon. i'm going to do art dip. auditions at schools mainly in new york. i want to move by matt. i've never been to new york but my sister said that i'll love it. and, i do love vancouver, toronto, chicago... so, i'll probably love new york, too, right? i'm going to visit matt in 13 days so i'll find out soon enough! EEE!!! :)

in other, not so jolly, news- i randomly stumbled upon a photo of me and my boyfriend on someone's blog with not very nice comments attached to it. rage. some people are just bitter and jealous. and... just not very nice. as much as i'd like to hate people like this, i kind of feel sad for them.

reality bites.

2009-09-19T23:20:00.000-04:00

i've been away from reality for the last bit of time because matt came up to ontario to visit me! we got to see eachother for 8 days!!!!! this was the first time that we've gotten to spend extensive, intense, quality time together... ever. i was honestly a bit nervous about it, but having him around was so amazing. i was extremely sad that he had to leave. he brought me a photo compilation poster of target pictures he'd taken for me during his road trip! :)

we did lots of fun things like make food,

practice lots,

take sangria for a walk to the park,

have my belated birthday party,

organize my new room and put things away,

go to wonder sushi for lunch,

hang out with friends,

and, most importantly, spend some much needed time together.

*sigh* back to reality... i.e. skype calls that cut out all the time, sleeping in my big bed by myself, and having to stand on a chair to retrieve things on the top of the kitchen cabinets...

full moon.

2009-09-04T19:34:00.001-04:00

the last few days have been so so so so so strange...

1. went to toronto to get some furniture and things for my apartment. we are all ready to leave and as i'm backing up the suv to load it, i notice that the driver's side back tire is almost flat. so, chri and i drove to the closest gas station to fill it. we try my tire gauge... and, broken. the tire gauge on the air pump... and, also broken. the nicest guy in the greater toronto area lets us use his tire gauge and then preceeds to check and fill the remaining tires.

2. we load up the car and tie the mattress on top of the suv. the moment we get on the 401, the mattress is flying pretty high so we get off the interstate, go into a gas station, and ask the attendant if they sell bungee cords. "...what's a bungee?"

next gas station. bungees? yes. we secured the mattress and drove home very very very slowly.

3. we unload everything and start assembling things. i decide to order pizza. "delivery in 45 minutes." great!

45 minutes later...1 hour later...1 hour and 15 minutes later...AND...calling.

"we came to your house and noone was there." "oh... can you come back?"

i later realize when the pizza delivery van drives PAST my house and parks at the end of the block that he never even came to my house in the first place. i pay and go inside and complain that he went to the wrong house.

AND--- knock knock knock!!

girl who was in her car outside, "just so you know, after that delivery guy left, he stood in front of your house and just stared in your front window. he stopped because he remembered that me and my boyfriend were sitting in our car."

...great...

4. jenny and carmen are putting up our front curtains to ward off any pizza delivery peepers and all of the sudden:

jenny: "did that guy just hit our car? is he driving away?"

so we all run outside. yes. he did hit the car. yes. he does want to flee the scene. "i'm in hurry but don't call the cops. i'll do the work myself. just don't call the cops. i have to go."

chris: "you can't leave. we need to get your information."

...and he leaves.

cops were called. he's going to get in trouble.

5. jenny violin day the next day means another trip to toronto. almost halfway there...

jenny: "the battery light just turned on."

we get off the interstate and go to canadian tire. alternator issue. 1 hour later, fixed and we're on our way. only an hour and a bit off schedule. the upside is that the ca tire we went to was by a mall so jenny and i got to shop for a bit.

6. we decide to get a coffee and sandwich from tim hortons. the lady takes my order...

me: "i'd like an medium iced latte."

stupid lady: "oh... i don't know how to make that. ok..."

she preceeds to try making the iced latte and asks several people how to do it. i'm watching her and turn my head away for just a moment. i look back and see her DRINKING OUT OF MY CUP TO TASTE IT!

she comes back.

me: "i just saw you drink out of my cup. i'd like a new one."

stupid lady: "i didn't do that. you're wrong."

other lady comes over: "what's going on?"

me: "this lady drank out of my cup to taste it."

other lady: "no. i know her and she wouldn't do that. you don't know what you're talking about."

WT@*%#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i complained to the manager and will be calling corporate tomorrow...

DO NOT GO TO TIM HORTONS ON BLOOR AND BEDFORD.

7. drive back to london after the 2nd furniture trip. construction on the 401. we sat in gridlock traffic for an amazingly long time. in an hour and half we moved about 1 kilometer. no. good.

8. i've been battling with the insurance people at school for the last month or so. they want me to pay for summer insurance now, but they wouldn't give me insurance over summer. ridiculous. after talking to wendi perez (insurance lady), and matt, i decided to pay the $252 and deal with it. i was pissed because i paid the fee and assumed that the hold on my record would be taken away. NO! there's a $44 fee to remove the hold. i don't know why i was so surprised...

9. i accidentally overdrew my US checking account because i haven't used it in over a year and didn't remember how much was in it. so i got an overdraft fee. i had enough money put into it to cover the negative balance AND THEN i got charged a fee for having a negative balance which made it, once again, negative...

the. end.

best. birthday. ever. ever.

2009-09-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

this was the first year that my twin sister and i weren't together for our birthday. when i realized this, i got really really sad. so... i made a jenna on a stick.

my mom and i (and jenna) went to breakfast at a cute cafe, the gingerbread house. the food was really good--- heavy and very filling.

matt got to my house in the afternoon so we spent some much needed time sitting around together.

and then... off to lake park bistro, a really nice, beautiful restaurant in milwaukee that my sister used to work at. we walked in and the hostess looked at me and said, "you must be jenna's sister." funny. :)

since everyone loves jenna at the bistro, matt and i got v.i.p. treatment, sat at the table with the best view of the lake, and took home lots of desserts. and of course, jenna on a stick came along to dinner, too! and the surprise ending was that jenna took care of our meal. :)

and then... home for more dessert (birthday funfetti cake) with my mom... lots of food... too much food...

matt stayed over and we had breakfast with my mom before i drove back to canada. :)

this birthday was really great, jam-packed with everything that i wanted to do.

i'm 25. ...this year is going to be wonderful.

beauty salon magic.

2009-08-28T21:37:00.000-04:00

thanks to my wonderful boyfriend, i just went and got a haircut and pedicure. as i was sitting in the pedicure chair, relaxing and looking around, i decided that beauty salons are the most magical places. no one is mad or crabby at a salon. it's just not why women (and men) go there. one goes to a salon to un-crabby themselves. i am rarely willing to spend money on things like pedicures because rational thoughts such as, "$30 would also pay for my hydro and part of the internet for the month," start entering my brain. but, as i sat in the chair getting a back massage and observing all of the women giggling and gossiping with eachother, i remembered one of my life mantras that i seemed to have forgotten recently:

do what makes you happy.

...and besides... everyone deserves a treat once in awhile.

look what fun!

2009-08-20T15:20:00.000-04:00

i went to the library with my mom this morning and was delighted to see that the children's section is decorated with rows of colorful oragami cranes. it makes the library very cheery. :)

present!

2009-08-19T19:42:00.000-04:00

next next year.

2009-08-18T17:52:00.001-04:00

i have been thinking a lot about what i want to do with my life after i get done with my masters and i've decided some things:

1. i want to do more school. so, this january time, i'm going to do more auditions for programs like artist certificates and performance diplomas.

2. i also am going to do auditions for jobs in case i don't get into any programs.

3. i am going to try to take as many lessons as i can this coming fall.

now that i've made a decision, time to get to work.

in other news, i just called to set up the internet at my new home in canada. i am really ready to be back at school in the middle of everything. i'm excited because i scheduled my lessons for the whole semester and it looks as though i'll have 4-day weekends every week so i can have more time to do what i want. :)

getting antsy.

2009-08-16T08:59:00.000-04:00

i really want to go do stuff. i don't want to sit at home anymore. it's time...

doing well :)

2009-08-14T00:21:00.000-04:00

for all those interested in my recent surgery, i'm doing quite well. i still have all feeling in my tongue and i haven't needed to take any of my pain pills. yay! the only bad part is that i can't really move my tongue too much because it's too swollen and if i do, i think i'll tear my stitches... gross. so, only liquid foods for me. it's fine, but i've been feeling fairly weak from lack of solid food.

for all my ontario friends, i've decided to stay in wisconsin for my birthday (aug 30) so that i can spend it with my mom and my boyfriend. i'll be back on september 1st! i'm really looking forward to getting back into the swing of things with school. i really want to practice but my face is hurting a bit too much and i'm trying not to push it.

anyone up for having a back to school get together? :)

grateful.

2009-08-11T16:50:00.001-04:00

i'm having one of those days where there are many things "wrong," but i've decided to hone in on the positive things in my life. there are lots. and thinking about them keeps me content and thankful. i hope that everyone does this when they get crabby because it really works wonders when your mind wanders into dark places.

and listening to this always makes me happy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN7oFdFqtB4

tomorrow i have to get another gland surgery, but this one is going to be worse because i actually have to have my whole sublingual gland removed. strangely enough, this is the last thing that i can do and there's a chance that it, also, may not work. i don't really understand how it wouldn't because if you take out the whole problem, how would it return...?

i'm starting to wonder about my life after next year. it's time that i have to think about it. i put it off all last semester because i really hate to plan so far ahead. i have a few options, but i don't even know how to start approaching them. but i am thinking about them, which is more than i was doing a few days ago. and what with my mouth situation, i'll have lots of time to do research and not practice.

ps. have i mentioned that i love antonia? she's the best violin ever. ever.

in WI!!! but, i miss colorado.

2009-08-06T00:20:00.000-04:00

I love being home in WI because I get to see my mom and my sister. AND I get to see Matt in 1 day!!! :) :) :)

However, I love colorado. And I miss it. A lot. I keep saying that all I want is to just eat, practice, and be outside... Colorado. Since I've come home I've been really lightheaded. There is so much air here and it's so humid, I feel like I'm breathing in a sponge instead of air.

While at home I get to resume some of my summertime projects such as walking Sangria. She still doesn't love being on a harness and leash, but she does like to be outside so she tolerates it.

I learned so much while I was gone. Going to Rocky Ridge was probably the best thing that I could've done for my life. (...thanks ABV) The things that I gained will help me so much for the rest of my life. AND I met lots of lovely people while I was there. Including... this guy! David Lin! My new favorite person!!! I met him before, but he's in the other violin teacher's studio at Western so I didn't get to know him this past year. We will hang out next year. I have decided.

exercise!

2009-07-21T01:22:00.000-04:00

ever since i've had to deal with arm problems (starting in october 2003), i've realized that exercise is one of my top priorities. my goal is pretty much to be the strongest woman in the world. i've been doing yoga here every morning and walking a lot. i think that i'm in the best shape that i've ever been in. i hiked estes cone today with 2 friends. it was so amazing. again, the torture of climbing straight up and lack of oxygen was well worth the view from the top.

ps. did i mention that i heart colorado?

I love CO.

2009-07-16T00:59:00.000-04:00

colorado is beautiful. i'm really glad that i am here for 5 weeks. this past monday i did my first hike here and it was absolutely gorgeous. a few of us went up to sky pond which meant that we had to do some difficult uphill hiking and also some rock climbing. we climbed up next to a waterfall and were exhausted by the time we got to the top... totally worth it. most beautiful place.

it's so strange, being out here. i never want to go home. i just want to practice and go hiking.

i have been taking viola lessons. i love the viola professor here. a lot. i've learned so much in just 2 lessons with him... possibly more important, fundamental things than i've learned from anyone else. i want him to teach me. violin. and viola.

last night i went to see the new harry potter movie at midnight. so. fantastic. i practiced while waiting at the theatre. i've realized that i can bring my violin and practice anywhere and noone really cares or bothers me. it's quite lovely.

freedom day.

2009-07-05T01:45:00.000-04:00

i'm in estes park, colorado. things are good thus far. above is the cabin i'm staying in. i've had a couple of lessons, done some performing, and gone up to look at some mountains. i'm sitting concertmaster of the orchestra which is good and i've met some lovely, extremely talented people.

today was weird just because i didn't get to use any sparklers- my normal 4th of july tradition. but, i did get to go up in a tram to the top of a mountain. :)

where to live, where to live...

2009-06-27T11:12:00.000-04:00

my latest goal has been to find a place to live for next year. i've become quite obsessed with looking at kijiji.ca. the other day, literally, two hours flew by and i don't know how i actually sat there for so long, looking at ads. i have put my good friend chri up to the task of being my eyes and ears for my apartment hunt. hopefully he'll look at the place and say it's absolutely perfect. (fingers crossed) the guy i talked to on the phone said that it's mine if i want it. wooooo... the -hoo is put on hold until i get it. i know that the outside looks a wee bit sad, but it's lovely, really.

AND... i also just found another place that is a good possibility. i'd like to go back to canada now.

rocky ridge. 3 days. not. ready. at. all. BUT! i have a renewed interest in practicing which is always good. i was definitely in a summer slump for a bit. i recently re-read this paper about practice thoughts and my focus has been restored.

lastly, my cat, sangria is adorable. there's just no getting around it. i never give her human food ever. firstly, i don't think she should have it, and secondly, she usually doesn't want it if i give it to her. however, she apparently likes butter pecan icecream.

FOCUS

2009-06-23T00:06:00.001-04:00

i leave for rocky ridge music camp in 7 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crazy. i need to work really hard this week. summer, thus far, has been all sorts of fun, but definitely not enough violining. i'm sure that the program will be fine. i'm looking forward to spending time with some good musicians and some mountains. all i have to do now is figure out how i'm going to get everything there.

some of the really annoying items i need to bring are:

-sleeping bag/pillow

-laundry detergent

-music stand

really? a sleeping bag and pillow? the last programs i've been to have had beds. this. is. not. good. i like camping and am 100% fine with "roughing it," but really. again, how am i supposed to fly with all of this stuff?

i went to a trombone factory today with my good friend, matt. i wanted to go see what a brass place was like. definitely different than a violin shop. nice violin places are always very fancy, bright, hardwood places that make you feel at home. this place was pretty much a big metal box that was dimly lit and just lined with trombone parts. not very homey to me. i realize that i'm a violin person, but still.

really hard life lesson.

2009-06-15T23:36:00.000-04:00

i urge everyone to take a moment (or many moments) to truly appreciate the people you love in your life. i know that this sounds cheesy, but i'm from wisconsin, so i think it's ok.

today is the six month anniversary of my dad's death, and time has really flown by. i really can't believe that it's been six months already. i can think of millions of things i'd like to tell him and feel sad, literally, every day that he's not here.

do not take things for granted.

xoxox

mouth surgery, chicago, chicago- hooray!

2009-06-12T22:54:00.000-04:00

there have been lots of things going on lately...

1. i had surgery to remove a gland under my tongue that has been inflamed. really, really, really painful. BUT, i'm tough. the only thing is that they can't stitch it shut so it's just a big gross hole in my mouth. one funny thing was that i thought i was going to die this morning because i was in so much pain and i actually thought something was out-of-the-ordinary wrong, so i went in my mom's room and told her that i was dying. she told me to take a pain pill and go back to sleep... ok.

2. i have my new violin (antonia) of course, but yesterday i went to chicago and traded in my old bow for a new one, too! :) i don't name bows. i don't know why, but i just don't. my beautiful friend zack went with me and got to stay at my house for a couple of days which was tons of fun. it's always fun to go to bein & fushi (where i got my bow) because they let me play the fancy, $4million instruments... which pretty much play themselves.

3. i also went to chicago just a few days before that to go see the harry potter exhibit with my friend steve and his lovely sister. it was so good!!!!! i tried to take pictures, but, alas, was scolded, so i have nothing to show from my visit. and then after that i went to see star trek. amazing! i highly recommend.

4. i leave for camp soon. june 30th. eek. i should go practice now.

also...

2009-05-31T17:30:00.000-04:00

i bought sangria a harness and started taking her outside for walks. she's doesn't love the harness and lays down every few steps she takes. and i don't think she likes grass. but, overall, i like it! :) i'm hoping that she starts to realize that harness means outside and she'll stop biting me when i put it on her.

summer resolution

2009-05-30T01:56:00.001-04:00

i just got home from the cabin and a fun-filled trip to minneapolis to visit some of my favorite people on earth! i love the cabin. and i love minnesota. i love minnesota so much that i'm contemplating moving there after grad school. the thought of being in the cities and hanging out with people i love and going to concerts and living in the states is quite appealing.

amunkey with a monkey :)

me and kyle at the zoo in mn. really excited!

i've decided to make a school-break resolution and try to do as much this summer as i can. i had so much fun in minneapolis and i realized that i don't do very much when i'm just at home in wisconsin or when i'm at school, either. but i should. my mom and i are going to go back up to the cabin for the middle of june. i love it there. it's so nice and peaceful. it gives me lots of practicing time. when we go back up i'm going to see if there are some interesting things in rhinelander (to be determined). and then off to a summer program in july. hope everyone's summer is treating them well! :)

home sweet home

2009-05-20T00:32:00.001-04:00

I love being home! It's so nice... like summer camp! I wake up, do what I want, practice, eat, do more of what I want, practice, eat again, and the cycle continues. This summer is going to be great! And it's also going to fly by.

The other day I went to Oshkosh to visit some of my very good friends and surprise my friend Jenn at her wedding. Yay! I love surprises :)

I have some more fun trips planned. Tomorrow I am going up north to my cabin for a few days, and then off to visit some wonderful Minneapolis residents for the weekend, and then back to the cabin for the rest of the week. Have I mentioned that I love summer?

In other news, my new violin has officially been named- Anton.

new violin!!!!!

2009-05-13T01:29:00.001-04:00

NEW VIOLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so excited! i'm also sad at the same time because i've had my old violin for what seems like forever. it's so lovely. i don't know if it's a boy or girl yet, so there is no name. the sound is so beautiful, i'm really looking forward to playing (once i get over this stupid cold). today, i went to a furniture place and got some furniture upholstery to make new shoulder rests. yay! :) tomorrow is the start to my new violin regime. wish me luck!

glimpse into my future

2009-05-07T13:28:00.001-04:00

i am going to be an overprotective mother. i had to take my cat, sangria, into the vet to get new traveling documents and have a checkup. i had to leave her there overnight, which i've never had to do before, and i was so worried. i called the vet before the office closed to see if they were done so i could pick her up... they weren't. i called the next morning earlier than i was supposed to. overprotective mother.

new (temporary) location

2009-05-05T00:58:00.000-04:00

i moved out of my townhouse the other day and am staying with my lovely friend catherine for the rest of my time in london, ontario. i am here for longer than planned because i'm playing in a musical, into the woods. my part is a bit boring, but it's so much fun! when i was asked originally i didn't want to play in it, but i really miss doing things like musicals. it's a nice change from symphonies and only classical works.

i love summer. today i was thinking about how much i have loved school forever, and i don't know why. the parts of school that i love are performances and lessons. i don't want to take any more classes that don't have to do with playing my instrument. right now i'm spending my days doing what i want. it's so great, and i realize that if i wasn't in school anymore, my life would be like this (except that i'd have to get a job). maybe after i finish this degree, i'll take a break from school.